I'm also halfway through another new story about Ben, a teen jock who everyone drools over. His life will turn upside down as every good story should. I'm trying to write characters who can grow. I kind of like the fantasy of everything perfect and everyone being where they need to be, but that's not conducive to story telling. No one wants the story of how life goes on without seeing what it's going on from. right? Lesson to learn...
This is kind of how I see the character...
I liked the last chapter I think you need to continue that but I would like to see them work out their problems and become more lovers and life partners who share love and business. Clay needs to teach Tare his business let him get his license aned loosen the control a lot let Tare make his own decissions but help guide him in life. I love the story and do not want to see them seperate
ReplyDeleteI wouldnt mind if tare says he wants to break up,then clay realizes he neeeds to treat him bettrr.
DeleteGood job
I agree that the relationship needs to progress as more of a equal partnership, but without loosing the core of what you have already established for these two. I think clay needs to face a situation where he actually has to face losing his boy (and not some stupid thing like tare leaving him). U could revisit an earlier story line in which the old guidance counsel attempted to "resell" tare to someone else or even some one snatching tare. U have several story lines/characters already set up for this type of plot... well these r just my options LOL
ReplyDeletewhatever u decide I will love it. I like both you stories very much...I can't what to see what happens to crispin. I just hope crisping wasn't really kidnapped... I think that might ruin the story for me.
Anyway keep up the great stories
Thanks for both the comments. I think they will eventually move that way but it'll take a lot. Tare definitely is naive about the world and trusts Clay and even gets off on Clay's power and authority. He just wants to not be ignored and treated like an object. He's also at that age (Some of us never leave that age) where he needs constant reassurance of Clay's love and care for him.
ReplyDeleteThey will never be equal partners, that's not how either wants it. but getting listend to and consulted once in awhile and getting his dick sucked occasionally would make Tare feel complete right now. As he grows, his needs to take control will grow too, but for right now he just wants a little longer leash, not wings.
But thanks for your comments and I like the idea on the storyline of him fighting to keep Tare. Maybe some outside options would shake things up.
Oh and Update! I wrote the new story in one day Look for Ben Touches Down up soon, probably under authoritarian It was an easy 11 pages for the first chapter! I like it.
ReplyDeleteHey great job on,tares story. I agree that clay needs an adjustment,maybe tare begins yo develop a romance with someone else secretly who treats him like an emerging adult,and clay has to fight for him. Or he is resold to someone else,more rich and more powerful who doesnt just enjoy his cuteness,but loves him for who he is without training amd whooping him..youre really doing great.,and I loooooove Crispins tale! Please,add more:)
ReplyDeleteThank you! Crispin's story is really hard to write. I Will probably write a closing chapter or two for it. But I have no inspiration for it right now and don't want to put out crap. heh. I loved the story when I started it, but it's so complex and I kept getting off on weird details and then going back and fixing it.
ReplyDeleteWhere's the update on Tare?
ReplyDelete